In China, adults are unwillingly to talk about negative emotions culturally and usually use excuses or lies when explaining death to kids like: grandpa has gone to a far place; grandpa has went to sleep, in order to relief pain.
The main reason why parents are telling white lies because:
1)encourage the kids
2)dont want to make them worried
3)a quick escape from reality
 10.孩子面對悲傷(children handling sadness ) |
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小朋友的父母在一次意外中去世，我(小朋友的親人)可以怎樣幫他？
(How to help children who lost their parent during accident?)
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在這樣的情況下，親友很多時候都會感到為難，尤其是不知道應否將父母去世這個悲痛的事實告訴小朋友。其實小朋友到了6歲左右已經知道死亡的意思 (6歲以前小朋友並不能完全理解關於死亡的概念)，他們知道死去的人不會再說話和活動，更不能「復活」─ 即死是不能逆轉的事，跟一個人病了，或是受傷了不一樣。由於小朋友跟父母的關係很密切，每一天也生活在一起，所以只要父母有任何事發生，孩子都會知道有問題出現，只是孩子不一定明白究竟發生了什麼事，因而產生疑慮和恐懼。
(People are usually feel sorry about this case and hesitate to tell the children the truth. In fact, children know the meaning of death at the age six and understand dead people can not speak of move, and can not come back to life. Since there is a close relationship between the lost parents and kids, therefore children would sense the changes. )
我提議親友將父母的死訊如實告訴小朋友，並且耐心解答他們的問題，例如：「為什麼他們(父母)會死？」。年幼的小朋友可能未掌握死亡的概念，他們可能會問：「他們(父母)是不是去上班了？他們什麼時候回來？」如果小朋友年紀太小未能夠明白死亡的意思，那麼親友便要解釋給小朋友知道，例如可以對小朋友說：「爸媽已經死了，他們給汽車撞倒，受了很嚴重的傷，醫生曾經幫忙醫治他們，但爸媽也好不過來。爸媽死了便不能再見你，再不能跟你說話和抱你了，你跟他們說話他們也聽不到了，死了的人就好像桌子和椅子一樣沒有生命。」
(The best thing to do is to honestly tell the truth and answer their questions patiently.)
簡單來說，要幫小朋友面對喪親之痛有幾方面可以做：
1.
幫小朋友明白發生了什麼事(包括明白死亡的意思) 。
2.
回答小朋友對事件的疑問。
3.
安撫他們的情緒，建議他們將情緒用畫畫、寫信或傾訴抒發。
4.
妥善安排小朋友的日常生活，讓他們盡快過穩定和有規 律的生活。
觀察小朋友的情緒和行為，如果生活安排上已經穩定下來，而且父母過世已經有數月而小朋友仍然有頻密的惡夢、失眠、胃口欠佳、經常哭泣等，便應該為小朋友預約專業輔導。
本小冊子由臨床心理學家何念慈及李嘉怡撰寫
由社會褔利署臨床心理服務科
臨床心理服務課(一)編製
(There are few things we can do:) (1. help the children to understand what's happened (including the meaning of death) (2. Answer children's questions) (3. Calm down their emotions, encourage them to use painting or writing to relief pain) (4. Schedule their daily life, seek for professionals or psychologists if children can not settle well) Therefore I think the animation should educate them to face bad things positively and facing difficulties even at early age, equip them to face the reality. Is parent over protecting their children in terms of emotions and mind? Base on those thoughts and information, I create a set of question and make a questionnaire, hope my mother can help me ask the parents and the kids. It is originally in Chinese version with a short introduction of our school and project and my school email address. 
Here is the translated questions and answers from three parent of a kid.
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I also ask my mother to record their emotion when speaking of the event so that we can interpret the speaker's emotion later on when recording voice. Lauren also gathered some really interesting events and lies her parents told her when she was small and it is useful when considering the topic of or animation. Oscar and Lauren both thing question 2 and 4 are the most useful questions and can be developed even more so they are setting up questionnaire though email to ask their family and friends for research.
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